If James Bond were Italian

Thu, May 13, 2010


He wouldn’t ride some silly BMW. NO! He would ride a VESPA! The mythical Vespa Alpha, to be exact. Dick Smart 2007 is a low-budget spy film from 1967. It may not appeal to our adult sensibilities today, but you know that somewhere there’s an Italian guy who grew up with this film and longs for the day when he can build his own street shredding, rocket firing, bullet proof, gyro-copter, submarine, modified Vespa… and to that I raise my pint of Peroni and say “Salute!”

7 Responses to “If James Bond were Italian”

  1. Tim Lewallen Says:

    That was just EPIC!

    Epically bad.


  2. Casey Hooligan Says:

    Wow! (sound of rusty gears turning), I think it just might be possible to construct a bike like this with today’s technology, or at least pretty close to this in terms of functionality. All I need is about $1mil.
    Any REALLY risk-friendly investors out there?
    From a feasibility standpoint, the points to consider are:
    A. Blindingly fast scooter capability..check
    B. Folding gyro-copter capability..check
    C. Bullet-proof Kevlar armor..check
    D. Mini-napalm missiles..check
    E. Clunky submarine capability..check
    F. On board brick phone..No problem..check
    The real challenge is getting these systems together in one scooter but I propose this to be an attainable goal.
    Give a team of 5 individuals with varying expertise together for 1 year and pay them $100,000 each, give them a suitable facility and several hundred thousand more for equipment/materials.
    Heck, the result would be a scooter Tony Starke could be seen on!


  3. Steve Guzman Says:

    I think you’d start with the Gyro-copter first, as it’s the most critical then build the light weight scooter / sub mechanisms from there. I think a rotary engine that could power the copter would be PLENTY powerful enough to push the scooter along. Now, whether or not you could blow two lolly-gagging law enforcement officers off of their bikes is another thing completely.


  4. Jeffraham Prestonian Says:

    That was frickin’ HILARIOUS.


  5. Tim Lewallen Says:

    I love his casual “elbow on the handlebar” flying style. He’s just too cool for all this crap.


  6. Lorenzo Says:

    Enjoyed it very much, Steve, thanks! Those tiny Hellfire missiles should be an option on the current Vespa line-up :)


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